Circle of Blahhhh

So my family and I recently moved from Chicago to Charleston, SC thanks to my rock star wife landing an awesome new job down South.  We have been here since mid November and it has been incredible...I can't believe they even call what we just went through winter, I mean it did dip down into the 30's a couple of times but after spending nine long winters in Chicago that was kind of a joke.  I'll take 30 all day over -30!!  But the toughest part about our first "winter" down here has been the circle of sick my kids and I have gone through.  I don't know if they have been exposed to different strains of colds and sicknesses down here but it has been brutal.  My 4 year old would bring home a cold from school and then proceed to pass it around to the whole family.  And when the little sausage man ended up with it he would hold on to that thing forever.  And he couldn't truly be happy with just a simple cold, so he would turn that into an ear infection...and of course make that a double.  He's had five of them since we moved here.  I feel like this family has single handedly been keeping the pharmaceutical companies in business this winter.  Actually I guess they don't really need my help but you get the point.  And my sweet little girl couldn't be outdone by her little brother so she had Strep Throat, which began with a massive barf session in the middle of Target, as well as her share of viruses, other stomach bugs, and the flu.  She has actually puked more this winter than I did in College, and all who know me know that is saying a lot.  And Mommy and I didn't want to be left out so we both had sinus infections, a couple of different colds, and I threw in some Strep for good measure.  On two separate occasions this winter the entire family was on antibiotics.  And if you were not grossed out enough by all the vomitorium talk let's discuss what antibiotics do to the stomach of a one year old.  So the little sausage would get the cold, which then became a double ear infection so here come the antibiotics...and about an hour after that comes the massive explosive poops finding their way out of the diaper, up his back, on the carpet, the crib sheets, his hair?  And then of course the massive diaper rash which only about an entire tub of Aquafor will cure.  And after the ear infection gets cleared up and the ten day antibiotic binge is done and the poops begin to subside and the diaper rash finally goes away...guess who comes home from school with a new cold and guess who gets it ten minutes later?  You got it...baby boy! 

Set Them Free!

I know this post is probably just preaching to the choir but I just had to get it out there.  What is the deal with the packaging and security measures toy companies take to keep those toys in the packages.  Are the toys actually meant to be taken out and played with or what?  For the most part these toys are in heavy duty cardboard boxes, do they also need to be cordoned off with super strength high tension wire,  secured with NASA grade clear tape and hard plastic shells.  My one year old got this little Mega Blocks pirate ship which literally took me twenty minutes to set free from it's stronghold.  And I didn't even make it out unscathed, just a little nick on my finger but it bled for an hour and still hurts today.  I really don't understand the philosophy behind it, any kid should be able to see his or her toy in the box, hand it over to Daddy and be playing with it within five seconds, not an hour later and after learning ten new curse words screamed from Daddy's mouth while he struggled to open it!  Just set them free!!

Milestones

So my little girl started school last week, yes it is just preschool but it is a huge milestone nonetheless.  I'm getting a little weepy again just writing about it.  I tried to act tough when my wife and I dropped her off that first day but on the inside I was crying like I was the little schoolgirl.  I couldn't just start balling or all the other Moms and Dads would of thought I was some kind of sissy...but I bet some of them were crying on the inside too!  It just really felt like that first tiny step towards my baby girl not needing her Daddy anymore...which may sound sappy and all but it really crossed my mind.   Of course my little lady barely even looked back to say goodbye when we dropped her off that first day, and by the time I picked her up that afternoon she already had a new little best friend.  Not exactly a shy one my little angel, which I absolutely adore about her.
But it is crazy how fast time just seems to be reeling by.  I feel like she was the one just learning how to crawl and pull her self up, but now it's her baby brother hurtling through all those milestones.  He just started crawling a couple of months ago and now it seems he'll be running around before we know it.  He still favors the soldier crawl where he just kind of slides around on his belly, but he is super quick.  I really can't turn my back on him for a second anymore, which honestly has made my life a lot more difficult.  And it really doesn't help that we recently put our condo on the market so I completely debabyproofed the entire place, except for the little electric socket covers.  Which is the one thing I really don't need or care about right now as Captain Quick is sliding his way right toward the non baby gate protected stairs!

The Claw

So the little sausage man has now attained a new nickname, the claw.  Baby boy is still wonderfully plump and all that but he has now started to grab anything and everything that crosses his path, hence the claw.  And he is not exactly gentle, just the other morning I really thought he had pulled one of my nostrils clean off my face, I actually had to run to the bathroom mirror to check if it was still attached to my nose.  It definitely doesn't help that his little fingernails would give Freddy Kruger's razors a run for their money.  I really can't even keep them trimmed, they grow so quickly, I feel like by the time I finish clipping his second hand the first reaches out and rips my lip off with its razor sharpness.  And it's not just me who feels the wrath of the claw, big sister is definitely one of his favorite targets, or at least her long beautiful hair is.  Somehow with his new ability to claw and yank everything in his path he has also developed a Shaq like reach.  Sister can be walking by the other side of the room from him and somehow suddenly she is yanked back by her hair, the claw has it in his grasp.  And then to try and get him to release the claw is similar to trying to release the jaws of a pit bull, sometimes I need to grab the nearest maraca or toy drumstick and shove it into the claw in order to pry it off.  The claw isn't the only weapon in baby boy's arsenal either, he has also developed a nasty little bite with those four tiny teeth he recently acquired.  And the biting usually occurs right after I wrench my ear out of the claw's grasp, he'll look at me and smile and then chomp down on my shoulder.  My wife and I both have suffered a couple of tiny toothy bruises in the same shoulder area.  He also recently started crawling, so I had put him down for a minute in the living room and was sitting working on the computer and he crawled up and bit me on the ankle.  Would it be terrible parenting if I went out and bought one of those octagonal playpen/cages and just plopped him in there for a while until the biting and clawing subside?  I guess I wouldn't have the heart to do that, and I'm probably not helping anything by cracking up whenever he bites or claws mommy, me or sister.  I suppose it's time to get serious...Let the time outs begin!!

Just one of those days!

Today started off like any other...baby boy up at the crack of dawn, big sister not too far behind.  Tried moving to the couch to get a little extra sleep after baby boy got his bottle and fell back asleep only to hear him start fussing a few minutes later due to his first poop of the day waiting for me in his diaper.  However, my lovely wife got up at this point to get ready for work and informed of the morning poop and was nice enough to deal with it so I could try to get that little bit of extra sleep, but just as I shut my eyes again who do I hear through the monitor but daddy's little girl with her usual morning wake up call of, "daaaady, I'm awaaaaake."  So I gave up on that extra sleep and started the day.  Things went pretty smooth until we got back from my daughter's ballet class.  Baby brother played his part perfectly by staying awake in the car on the way home from sister's class, having his lunch when we got home and then taking his bottle and going down for his afternoon nap.  Usually after brother goes down sister is right behind after having her lunch, but not today.  She just wanted no part of her nap so it took me about an hour to finally get her down, and then as I finally flopped back down on the couch who wakes up, baby boy.  So I officially gave up on getting any rest for myself and grabbed baby boy for some snuggle time.  After that I put him in the exersaucer for a couple minutes to get some laundry done and when I get back to him what do you know...a total assplosion.  All the way out of his diaper and up his back.  I think I need to just get rid of that exersaucer because it is basically ex-lax for that boy, every time he is in that thing the poops just flow.  However this one had the extra umph to rocket out of his diaper and almost up to his ears.  So I give brother a quick bath and then realize all his clothes are in sister's room, and we don't want to wake her up so we go outside for a quick air dry session, and when I come back in my daughter is standing in the middle of the kitchen in a puddle of her own pee.  She will be 4 in just a few months and totally knows how to go potty all by herself, so I don't know if she got scared because she couldn't find me right away when she woke up or what.  Guess she knew it was just one of those days!

Peaches

My family and I recently went on a family vacation down to Nags Head North Carolina, which will hopefully turn into a yearly tradition. My parents were generous enough to pay for an incredible house for the entire family, complete with its own pool and just steps from the beach.  An incredible time was had by all, especially my three year old daughter who decided flat out that the beach house should be our regular home that we live in all the time.  Which I have to say would be really sweet.  My brother's mother in law lives down there so while we were all there we got to spend some quality time with her and her husband Bill.  My three year old daughter especially took to Bill right off the bat, except his name just didn't cut it for her, I guess Bill is just too normal, so she immediately renamed him Peaches.  It was my first time meeting Bill as well and he is probably one of the nicest guys I have ever met, but Peaches.  First off Bill is about six foot four and a retired New Jersey State Trooper, so I just feel he is more of a Bill or a sir then a Peaches, but my daughter obviously felt otherwise.  And being the super sweet man that he is he just went right along with it, but my three year old couldn't just leave it at that.  Right after that lovely picture of the two of them was taken my daughter looks up at Peaches and informs him that he has a booger, and then goes on to tell him that her daddy will make the tunnel thing to get it out for him.  Now the tunnel thing is just a rolled up tissue that I used to use to get her boogers out before she learned how to blow her nose, but we decided together to let Peaches retrieve it himself.  

Life in the Big City

One of my daughter's favorite activities is heading over to the local dog park and playing with all the random doggies. She is absolutely dog crazy, and pretty much has been from day one, even though we do not own a dog. Her first word was actually dog which she uttered right around six months old, and she hasn't stopped talking about them since. And since we are already all stuffed into this little condo with the four of us, a dog is not in the cards for us right now. I pretty much keep telling her when she is bigger and our house is bigger then maybe we will get a dog. So the other night after dinner my daughter and I went for a little stroll over to the dog park and she proceeded to tire all the dogs out running around and jumping with them, throwing sticks and balls, all that good stuff. Meanwhile I'm just chatting with some of the dog owners when an unmarked police car screeches to a halt right at the gate of the park. This plain clothes cop jumps out and starts running across the park with his hand on his gun screaming at this young Mexican kid who was walking outside the fence on the other side of the park..."Stop right there motherf#*cker and get down or I'll blow your f#*cking head off...Get down right now motherf#*cker, don't make me shoot you!" I could tell the kid thought about making a run for it but he opted not to get his head blown off and laid down, at which point the cop hopped the fence and promptly squashed the kids face into the pavement while trying to push his knee through the kid's back. He then quickly cuffed him and walked him back to his car and tossed him in, cursing him out the whole time. In the meantime my three year old who was about ten feet away while all this was going on and completely oblivious to it all, which I am grateful for. I didn't really want to have that conversation with her about good versus evil so soon in her young life. But I couldn't help but wonder, if the kid did run for it would that cop have started blasting away with my daughter and all those doggies and people around? Just another night of living life in the big city.